Jesus healed the sick, but I don't believe that was his primary mission. In fact, He made plain His own purpose for us at the very beginning of His ministry by quoting the words of the prophet Isaiah in the synagogue in Nazareth: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord."
"Brokenhearted" . . . . yes. . . been there, done that . . . still there sometimes. "Heal" . . . not so sure about that. We read about healings in the Bible, and we're so desperate for our own healing, or the healing of those we love, that we demand that it be . . . physical, observable, measurable, permanent. . . shouldn't we assume that the powerful love of an Almighty God would agree this is a top priority?
But, 'the older I get, the more I realize I don't know', and I'm so blessed when something that I've read for years suddenly speaks to me in a new, fresh way. The Bible study that I'm currently doing on the book of Luke prompted me to check out the Strongs' concordance explanation for the Hebrew word translated 'heal' - rapha means "to mend (by stitching), to cure, repair thoroughly, make whole, conveys the idea of restoring something to a useful state."
"Heal the brokenhearted" - stitch up the heart, repair it so that it can once again be used as it was intended? Yes, please.
I recently had minor surgery; under local anesthesia, my doctor cut my skin, removed what needed to be removed, and then stitched the skin back together. The stitches are gone now, but the visible scars remain. . . the bruising continues where the blood leaked from my veins . . . the marks left by the needle still obvious. The surgeon assured me, though, that healing would continue; the scars and the pain would fade with time.
I suppose our hearts must go through a very similar process: stitching is painful and takes time; recovery involves bruising, pain, scars, pain, tears, pain . . .all with the goal of being restored to a state where the heart can be used for the purpose for which it was created.
Joni Eareckson Tada says, "the more you learn of Him, think of Him, fill your eyes with Him, the more you find the comfort you crave in your brokenness . . . and who can measure the impact or put a value on how God will work?" Once again, I'm reminded that God's ways are not our ways. I'm the child, He's the Father. . . the Father who can be trusted even when I don't understand what He's doing.
Yes, I needed a fresh look at godly healing. Life on this earth was never intended to be permanent . . . but life is meant to be eternal. Matt Redman sings about this with beautiful lyrics: "Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say, 'never once did we ever walk alone'. You are faithful, God."
Monday, February 17, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Thoughts on Scars
There's a one inch scar on the outside of my right forearm. It's hard to ignore. When I'm driving, when I'm on the computer, when I'm eating, when I'm not wearing long-sleeved shirts (which in Texas is most of the time), I see that scar. It doesn't hurt. It's just a small, very pinkish white line, on my arm - and it reminds me to keep all body parts away from the coils of a hot oven! It doesn't hurt, but it reminds me of searing pain.
I also have scars on my eyes due to a recent minor surgery. They looked pretty bad the first week after the surgery . . . I didn't leave the house that week, faithfully applied ice packs every 20 minutes, and smeared ointment over the glaring thick red lines left by my doctor's scalpel. He instructed me not to use any make-up around my eyes or cover them with bandages.
The second week, though, the make-up went back on and I left the house. Friends remarked, "I can't even tell you had surgery." Well, considering they were looking through my eyeglasses and a few layers of beige foundation, I guess that's not surprising . . . but my scars are still there.
Yesterday, I talked with a beautiful young woman who started sobbing as she told me about her move from her mom's house to a friend's house. "I need to find out who I am. I need to learn to love myself," she explained as she talked about the verbally toxic relationship she had with her mother, a woman she described as one who spent her life using verbal manipulation and criticism to control her daughter . . . and left scars.
My husband spent some time working at Walter Reed Army Medical Center a few years ago. That place is filled with scars . . . glaring, deep, frightening, open, painful scars. And there are just as many scars that can't be seen - scars in the mind, in the heart, in the blood, in the very core of a person's being - glaring, deep, frightening, hidden, open, painful scars. The hospital is also filled with wonderfully amazing doctors, therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, chaplains who work tirelessly at easing the impact . . . of scars.
I have a few friends who remember Allison's birthday each year, who send messages filled with their precious memories of my daughter . . . and there have been many others in my life who weren't afraid, who invited me to wash off the make-up, remove all the coverings, reveal the wounds . . . the scar.
A Filipino Christian was quoted in Christianity Today (Jan 2014) as saying, "We prayed the typhoon would not be strong. The Lord did not answer our prayer." His new prayer: "Increase our capacity to respond." When prayers aren't answered, wounds are inflicted, scars are born - may we pray, "Lord, ease the impact of the scar and increase our capacity to respond."
I also have scars on my eyes due to a recent minor surgery. They looked pretty bad the first week after the surgery . . . I didn't leave the house that week, faithfully applied ice packs every 20 minutes, and smeared ointment over the glaring thick red lines left by my doctor's scalpel. He instructed me not to use any make-up around my eyes or cover them with bandages.
The second week, though, the make-up went back on and I left the house. Friends remarked, "I can't even tell you had surgery." Well, considering they were looking through my eyeglasses and a few layers of beige foundation, I guess that's not surprising . . . but my scars are still there.
Yesterday, I talked with a beautiful young woman who started sobbing as she told me about her move from her mom's house to a friend's house. "I need to find out who I am. I need to learn to love myself," she explained as she talked about the verbally toxic relationship she had with her mother, a woman she described as one who spent her life using verbal manipulation and criticism to control her daughter . . . and left scars.
My husband spent some time working at Walter Reed Army Medical Center a few years ago. That place is filled with scars . . . glaring, deep, frightening, open, painful scars. And there are just as many scars that can't be seen - scars in the mind, in the heart, in the blood, in the very core of a person's being - glaring, deep, frightening, hidden, open, painful scars. The hospital is also filled with wonderfully amazing doctors, therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, chaplains who work tirelessly at easing the impact . . . of scars.
I have a few friends who remember Allison's birthday each year, who send messages filled with their precious memories of my daughter . . . and there have been many others in my life who weren't afraid, who invited me to wash off the make-up, remove all the coverings, reveal the wounds . . . the scar.
A Filipino Christian was quoted in Christianity Today (Jan 2014) as saying, "We prayed the typhoon would not be strong. The Lord did not answer our prayer." His new prayer: "Increase our capacity to respond." When prayers aren't answered, wounds are inflicted, scars are born - may we pray, "Lord, ease the impact of the scar and increase our capacity to respond."
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Who Knows? (part 2)
"While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.'" 2 Sam. 12:22
"Return to the Lord, your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing." Joel 2:13-14
"Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish." Jonah 3:8-9
I want to know!! I don't like worrying and wondering and waiting. . . "who knows?" is not an answer that brings me comfort . . . but Philip Yancey writes, "By bringing us into the presence of God, and giving us a glimpse of the view from above, prayer radically changes how we experience life." Of course. . . how can I spend time in the presence of Almighty God and not come away changed, encouraged, hopeful. . .
When David's baby became ill, he "pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them." (2 Sam 12:16-17).
Intercessory prayer is hard work. . . it means a change in perspective, a change in focus, a change in attitude . . . it requires sacrifice, humility, effort. . . it offers no guarantees, no assurance of results, no easy answers . . . and, at the end of the day, I thank God for the privilege of partaking in His work. Who knows? I don't know, but I'll pray.
"Return to the Lord, your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing." Joel 2:13-14
"Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish." Jonah 3:8-9
I want to know!! I don't like worrying and wondering and waiting. . . "who knows?" is not an answer that brings me comfort . . . but Philip Yancey writes, "By bringing us into the presence of God, and giving us a glimpse of the view from above, prayer radically changes how we experience life." Of course. . . how can I spend time in the presence of Almighty God and not come away changed, encouraged, hopeful. . .
When David's baby became ill, he "pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them." (2 Sam 12:16-17).
Intercessory prayer is hard work. . . it means a change in perspective, a change in focus, a change in attitude . . . it requires sacrifice, humility, effort. . . it offers no guarantees, no assurance of results, no easy answers . . . and, at the end of the day, I thank God for the privilege of partaking in His work. Who knows? I don't know, but I'll pray.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Who Knows?
Why do bad things happen? How can I believe in a good God when the world is so full of evil? Why did my friend have to die?
Over the last three weeks, through three different venues, I've been challenged to come up with a response - training at a crisis pregnancy center tasked participants with preparing an answer to the inevitable question, "how can I believe in God when all this bad stuff is happening to me"; a Bible study on the book of Daniel asked the "why" question when precious people die too soon; and . . . my brother was just diagnosed with cancer.
Well, since those questions have been dancing through my mind for the last 24 years, and considering that Scripture tells us we should always be ready to give an answer "to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you" (1Peter3:15), this seems like a good time and this seems like a good place.
First of all, the mystery of evil on this earth is just that - a mystery. Christopher Wright (the God i don't understand) says, "God, with His infinite perspective, knows that we finite human beings cannot, indeed must not, 'make sense' of evil. For the final truth is that evil does not make sense!" Studying the book of Job reveals blessings for a man who dares to be angry with God and rebukes for the self-righteous friends who presume to speak for God. Lesson learned - God doesn't owe me any explanations, but He invites me to be 'real' with my pains, hurts, disappointments. Or, in other words, "there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries" (Dan. 2:28), and it's not me!
However, secondly, God has chosen to reveal Himself. Over and over again, scripture and history reveal our God as loving, compassionate, merciful, gracious, forgiving. . . . "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:22-23) "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1) "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." (Heb. 10:23) Yes, sometimes life seems very dark and God seems very absent; those are the days we're called to remember and trust the character of our God - "When I was in distress, I sought the Lord. . and I would not be comforted. I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago." (Ps. 2,11)
Thirdly, grieving, mourning, crying are all okay. Listening to a sermon on the Psalms recently, I learned that there are actually more psalms of lament than of joy. We go to the Psalms for words of praise to our God; words of grief and sadness fill the very same book. Even Jesus, suffering indescribable pain on the cross, used words from the Psalms to express His anguish: "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" (Ps. 22:1). He gave us this language for a reason - 'in this world you will have tribulation.' (John 16:33)
And, lastly, perspective. . . "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory . . as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Cor. 4:17-18) "In that day . . . He will swallow up death forever!" (Is. 25:7-8) Yes, life is hard - we grieve and mourn, we laugh and dance, we pray and give thanks. . . and we trust our loving God who assures us that 'there is more to this life' than what we can see.
"Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live." 2 Sam. 12:22
"Return to the Lord your God . . . who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing." Joel 2:13-14
"Who knows? God may turn and relent . . . so that we will not perish." Jonah 3:9
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
More Than I Can Bear
Okay, I feel the need to start this post with a disclaimer - I'm about to jump up on a really big soapbox!
"God won't put on you more than you can bear."
"You must be such a strong person - God wouldn't have given you this burden if He didn't know you could handle it."
Yes, in 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul says, "God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." But, in the very next book, (2 Corinthians 1:8), he says, "we were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself."
Hmmm. . . great pressure, not able to endure, despair. . . .sounds like the way I felt when Allison died. I didn't feel strong, and I definitely couldn't bear it. . . the grief was too much for me, far beyond my ability to endure. My journal entries during those years reflected that very deep sense of despair and despondency.
About four years later, though, while we were living in Germany, our pastor's wife shared a Bible study that she had developed during a very difficult time in her life; and our chapel group began working through the book, 'Experiencing God'. Those 5 months were life-changing! I felt like a wounded animal just coming out of a long, healing hibernation, surprised to see the sun shining! Looking back, I see that God was my sustenance during those days. Or, in the words of 1 Corinthians 10:13, He was my 'way out': "When you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." I believe His Spirit was praying for me when I couldn't pray, holding onto me when I didn't have the strength to hold onto Him.
Daily, I have a choice - not about the evil or hard times that come into my life, but about the relationship developing with the only One who has the ability to see me through, whether in this life or not.
Yes, it was more than I could bear . . . but, God offered me a way out - Himself.
"God won't put on you more than you can bear."
"You must be such a strong person - God wouldn't have given you this burden if He didn't know you could handle it."
Yes, in 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul says, "God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." But, in the very next book, (2 Corinthians 1:8), he says, "we were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself."
Hmmm. . . great pressure, not able to endure, despair. . . .sounds like the way I felt when Allison died. I didn't feel strong, and I definitely couldn't bear it. . . the grief was too much for me, far beyond my ability to endure. My journal entries during those years reflected that very deep sense of despair and despondency.
About four years later, though, while we were living in Germany, our pastor's wife shared a Bible study that she had developed during a very difficult time in her life; and our chapel group began working through the book, 'Experiencing God'. Those 5 months were life-changing! I felt like a wounded animal just coming out of a long, healing hibernation, surprised to see the sun shining! Looking back, I see that God was my sustenance during those days. Or, in the words of 1 Corinthians 10:13, He was my 'way out': "When you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." I believe His Spirit was praying for me when I couldn't pray, holding onto me when I didn't have the strength to hold onto Him.
Daily, I have a choice - not about the evil or hard times that come into my life, but about the relationship developing with the only One who has the ability to see me through, whether in this life or not.
Yes, it was more than I could bear . . . but, God offered me a way out - Himself.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Reflections
on the bombing at the Boston Marathon and the explosion in West, Texas. . .
People around the world . . . in my country . . . in my backyard . . . are hurting, suffering, grieving today. As I watched the Boston Marathon Memorial Service and listened to the wise, compassionate ministers offer up their reflections to those who had gathered, I was struck with a thought - what would I say? what could possibly bring comfort, peace, understanding in such a time?
The words of one of the speakers spoke straight to my heart: "I don't know why God allowed this to happen, but I do know the character of God."
What a paradox:
-Our omnipotent God, Creator of all things, Alpha and Omega . . . why?. . .why the suffering, the pain, the grief?
-Our loving Father, sacrificial Lamb, good Shepherd, Redeemer . . . how? how can we go on? how can we comfort the hurting, the sorrowful?
My questions are as old as time, and just maybe, so are the answers:
Ecc. 8:17 "I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out."
Job 19:7 "I cry out, 'Violence!' but I am not answered; I call for help, but there is no justice."
Lamentations 2:11 "My eyes are spent with weeping; my stomach churns."
2 Chronicles 20:12 "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."
Psalm 31:14-15 "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand."
Psalm 73:16-17 "When I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God."
John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world."
We're like little children in the presence of our loving and merciful Father, incapable of understanding the evil and violence that fills our world. Joni Eareckson Tada says, "Answers, no matter how good they are, cannot be the coup de grace."
And, so, we are told to weep with those who weep, let laughter be turned to mourning . . cry out boldly with our questions, anguish, heartache. And, be the hands, feet, and heart of our loving Lord.
People around the world . . . in my country . . . in my backyard . . . are hurting, suffering, grieving today. As I watched the Boston Marathon Memorial Service and listened to the wise, compassionate ministers offer up their reflections to those who had gathered, I was struck with a thought - what would I say? what could possibly bring comfort, peace, understanding in such a time?
The words of one of the speakers spoke straight to my heart: "I don't know why God allowed this to happen, but I do know the character of God."
What a paradox:
-Our omnipotent God, Creator of all things, Alpha and Omega . . . why?. . .why the suffering, the pain, the grief?
-Our loving Father, sacrificial Lamb, good Shepherd, Redeemer . . . how? how can we go on? how can we comfort the hurting, the sorrowful?
My questions are as old as time, and just maybe, so are the answers:
Ecc. 8:17 "I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out."
Job 19:7 "I cry out, 'Violence!' but I am not answered; I call for help, but there is no justice."
Lamentations 2:11 "My eyes are spent with weeping; my stomach churns."
2 Chronicles 20:12 "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."
Psalm 31:14-15 "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand."
Psalm 73:16-17 "When I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God."
John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world."
We're like little children in the presence of our loving and merciful Father, incapable of understanding the evil and violence that fills our world. Joni Eareckson Tada says, "Answers, no matter how good they are, cannot be the coup de grace."
And, so, we are told to weep with those who weep, let laughter be turned to mourning . . cry out boldly with our questions, anguish, heartache. And, be the hands, feet, and heart of our loving Lord.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Isn't It Okay??
I really do love the book of Job. In chapter 4, we find the 'friend', Eliphaz, advising Job with the following words:
"In the past, you've encouraged many a troubled soul to trust in God. . . . your words have strengthened the fallen, you steadied those who wavered. But now, when trouble strikes, you faint and are broken. Does your reverence for God give you no confidence?"
Reading these words, I realize that I don't need a friend like Eliphaz to say them to me . . . I say them to myself: a Christian . . . faith in the Almighty God . . . all things work together . . . rejoice always . . . only believe . . . joy in the morning . . . have faith and pray . . . But when trouble strikes, I'm terrified and broken! Where is my faith, the confidence that comes from my reverence for God?
Sometimes a great fear roars up within me that another loss will strike my family. . . and the grief will be devastating. I recently shared this fear with a small group of hospital chaplains, and one responded with, "but isn't it okay to fall apart at something as horrific as losing a child?" Wow. Humbling. Yes.
So, then, how shall I live?
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matt 5:4
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12:15
My eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, Lord, every day. Psalm 88:9
Even in laughter, the heart may ache. Proverbs 14:13
In all this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer
grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6
Yes, it's okay to grieve. Maybe, through the grief, we learn.
"In the past, you've encouraged many a troubled soul to trust in God. . . . your words have strengthened the fallen, you steadied those who wavered. But now, when trouble strikes, you faint and are broken. Does your reverence for God give you no confidence?"
Reading these words, I realize that I don't need a friend like Eliphaz to say them to me . . . I say them to myself: a Christian . . . faith in the Almighty God . . . all things work together . . . rejoice always . . . only believe . . . joy in the morning . . . have faith and pray . . . But when trouble strikes, I'm terrified and broken! Where is my faith, the confidence that comes from my reverence for God?
Sometimes a great fear roars up within me that another loss will strike my family. . . and the grief will be devastating. I recently shared this fear with a small group of hospital chaplains, and one responded with, "but isn't it okay to fall apart at something as horrific as losing a child?" Wow. Humbling. Yes.
So, then, how shall I live?
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matt 5:4
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12:15
My eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, Lord, every day. Psalm 88:9
Even in laughter, the heart may ache. Proverbs 14:13
In all this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer
grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6
Yes, it's okay to grieve. Maybe, through the grief, we learn.
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