A Personal Journey

Grief is a very personal journey.  Granted, there are real warning signs that grief may be turning self-destructive, but we need to be careful not to confuse an individual's need to express grief and loss in a personal way as a sign that they are 'stuck in their grief'.  An Army psychologist once asked us to check on a couple whose grandson had been killed in a motorcycle accident the previous year.  He was very concerned about them, and when we asked why, he told us that he went to their home and saw a huge picture of the grandson in the front entryway.  He saw the picture as a sign that they weren't moving on in their grief.  We saw the picture as a sign that they loved their grandson - that's not a grief you can 'get over'.  What is normal grief - taking a lawnchair to the cemetery and sitting there all day? lining up matchbox cars on a son's tombstone? standing in the kitchen and crying through dinner preparations?